Do you think I have enemies?

“But I say to you ,love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:44-45.

As a lady who comes from a poor background , life made me be at peace with whatever challenges I come across .I came across challenges that made me think that maybe I’m an outcast. Taking it easy was not easy for me.

After finishing my O’levels I run alope to the man that I loved hoping for a change in life. Unfortunately God didn’t make us see our tomorrow we just dream and strive to fulfill our desires. I stayed with my husband and had a family and life was promising light. Like I said we don’t know our tomorrow, we got four kids and by that time I was a house wife and he was working. I was in a good relationship with my in-laws because I was not a beggar.

It all started 2009 when my husband got retrenched from work due to the economy and he didn’t get any compensation. I didn’t notice it until 2013. My in-laws started giving me a cold shoulder ,why? because I started not attending functions that used to attend,the reason being I could no longer afford it. Whenever I call , instead of “hello” they would say ,”is everything ok.” I started choosing where to go and where not to go. I started having people I like and people I dislike .All because of lacking. That’s where I only realised that my kids are my friends. Surely I bonded with them .We had to agree on one thing for it to happen otherwise we would not be where we are today.

2014 things got worse , my first born and second stopped schooling due to school fees. I was living in a few cents that I got from clients who came to do their hair and my husband was also bringing from the scrapyard ,but remember we are six .The landlord also wanted her rent. I started hating people around me ,myself ,my husband,my in-laws and I was bitter. Whenever I ask for something and you don’t give me , you are my enemy. I started not going to church because I thought they don’t love me anymore . I made enemies unaware .

Some of the days we would wwke up on empty stomachs and just say God if you can give me one client for freehand so that I can buy something to eat. A dollar from my family would make a great meal during those days . Someone might say want to know how. In the streets there were small packets of rice, meallimeal, cooking oil , vegetables etc. So we would choose whether rice or sadza.

The most painful part of me I had some close relatives whom I would ask for capital to start up something but they will say they don’t have. Have you ever reached out to a potential but turned down? Have you ever gone to a funeral and don’t come back because your money is shot? Have you ever asked for rice and then they cook for you and pack for you? Have you ever slept like a king yet you are a beggar? I would spend days without going out of the gate thinking that people would see me that I haven’t eaten anything.

Hatred and accusations was part of my life. I started not greeting people especially if I see that everything is fine with you. We use to sleep at 6 with my family because there was nothing to entertain us. Moreover it was too dark for us because we could not afford candles. My relatives would visit for a few minutes and could not even buy a candle for R2 for me. But the next thing they will do is invite you to their birthday parties!

End of 2014 ,I sat down and said “Cecilia , where exactly do you stand ? You have blessed hands one can ask for!” I opened my eyes , I looked around and I could see that I was filled with hatred, but for what Cecilia ? I had my passport already. So I sat down with my kids ,told them mama wants to go to a foreign land to change our lives, but promise me you will take care of the young one she was 1yr 6months. The kids agreed but the father said if you go, go forever. I then started to beg for busfare but who was going to give his or her money to someone who can’t afford a meal. A lady who was not even my client but she knew I know how to do hair told me to look for R300 only and she was going to take care of the rest .

My husband told me that I can do whatever I want because I was no longer his wife since the day I planned the journey.

I came to SA started working to feed my kids back home ,end of 2015 ,guess who followed? The same man who said I’m no longer his wife .Then now we are with our kids here 👪👩‍👩‍👧.

Lemons…

Lemons ..

In life it’s always said when life gives you lemons make lemonade.

In this Covid 19 season , I have been wondering if it’s possible to use my lemons to make lemonade 🤔, hell no ! I have reached a stage were I can’t even have the lemons .

Back in my country almost every house hold has a lemon tree , so growing up lemons to me were not sold ! And I never thought myself buying lemons , never ! I remember during winter my granny will tell me to put lemon juice in my vaseline so that I won’t have cracks on my skin . We were always told not to eat lemons because we will lose weight .

Corona what have you done to me ? Corona have taught me that the stones that the builders rejected have now become cornerstones . I use to see lemons as bitter and useless . I humble you Corona . I have learnt that sometimes in life the things that you think are easy to get someone is not even getting them .

Being a hairdresser with no side hustle , I have come to a stage whereby I can’t even afford to buy lemons . Those household with lemon tree have put posts at their gates written NO LEMONS . l see these posts while wandering the streets looking for lemons like am taking a morning walk . And my kids are singing to me that they need lemons for Corona . How will I tell them that mummy can’t afford lemons.

Morning walks have become my routine . If I don’t loose weight this season I don’t think I will again . I have become friends with people whom I don’t know all in the name of lemons . One day I will tell a story because there is life after corona . I now wish I could go back to walk so that things will get back to normal . Lemon you are special .

You are not for lemonade only .

Thank you Corona for teaching me the benefits of lemons . I salute you . And as for you lemon I will not look down upon you even though you have a bitter taste .🤗

When all this is over challenge…..

It was on the 6 th of April when one of our bloggers came up with a When all this is over challenge..

Gone are the days….

Gone are the days when I and my partner use to smile when hired to do hairstyles , manicure , pedicure and makeup at any function , be it weddings , parties you name it . This was just the beginning of the year and things seemed positive . Like any other human beings we had our 2020 resolutions ,we even joined stokvels for every Mondays hoping to fulfill our dreams.

To me it was like any other deseases , Ebola , Bird flu , Hiv just to mention a few . And all along noone bothered to differentiate between a virus and bacteria . Corona Virus! The way it is sang by our 6-8 years daughters it’s like something fancy . When they demonstrate to you how you are supposed to close your mouth when coughing , the washing of hands with sanitizers .

I remember when my grandmother use to say the year of hunger , during the year of locusts I gave birth to your father . I never imagined what the situation of locusts was . Now I understand when I see swarms of locusts on television in Ethiopia . Now I understand the plaque of frogs in times of King Pharoah . I can imagine how our children are going to narrate the lockdown thing to their grandchildren.

Covid 19 is something that I never wanted to know much about until I heard about of the lockdown . When the president announced about the lockdown that’s when I realized how serious the situation was . Isn’t other people were feeding us with some wrong information sayings it’s for whites only .

As a Small Business Entrepreneur most of my dreams where shattered . But all I can say now is lockdown to me was a blessing in disguise . New things are coming up , I have time with my kids , you won’t believe that I bought my stove 2018 but I only learnt how to use the oven in this lockdown . I also learnt that not all people whom we see on the streets are hard workers only , meaning some of us are working from home .

When all this is over unlike others who are visiting their roots , I will put much effort to at least attend every service at my church .I’m that kind of person who always give excuses when Sunday comes .

When all this over I will visit my father’s young brother who is in Durban and it’s a two hours drive from where I live . I always say eish I was rushing when I came to Durban so I will see you next time .

My cousins

When all this is over my cousins will be waiting for me in Johannesburg it’s an eight hour drive . When it comes to visiting I always have excuses .

When all this is over am going to visit the gym for my weight . My six year old daughter always say “You big like an elephant .”

When all this is over iam going to treat my clients like Queens . I have learnt that without them angiphelele.

When all this is over I will need a graduation certificate from a private college written ; “This is to satisfy that Cecilia Mackenzie has successfully completed her Master’s Degree in Lifeyology “

Now I understand what the Bible says in Matthew 6 verse 26; Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns yet our heavenly Father feeds them .

When all this is over I want to be coolest mother ever! I want things to be done my way nomatter how nice it is 🙈.

We all have to raise our hopes ,read our 2020 resolutions day in and day out and don’t forget to look at your vision board and tell it ” There is life after Corona Virus .👩‍🎓

Marriage Part 2

Tears became my food day in and day out . Marriage where are you?

Helping people in their fields was not a joke . I could see that granny wants to say something to me but it was too late . I think she was depressed just because she thought she failed me . As old as she was , and the only parent that I had she wanted me to get married and know that at least when she dies I do have a family .

It was on a Monday morning , I woke up feeling tired but I had to go to the fields . As usual I cooked food for both my granny and my boy . Oh by the way his name was Patrick ! I named him after my father but without the knowledge of his father’s family . Culturally we girls are not supposed to take our parents’ names to where we are married .

I worked but I wasn’t feeling myself . I could sense something bad was going to happen but what , I don’t know . My conscience kept talking to me until I took my tools and went back home without talking to anyone . On my arrival home , I could smell burning of pots . I rushed into our round hurts the pots were burning and there granny was lying , my Patrick was in deep sleep . I rushed and try to wake granny but she had already gone . Just like that .

I couldn’t believe it . I called our neighbor , she also told me that granny is gone . I cried until her burial . After her burial I had to continue in the fields and this time with Patrick by my side . If I was able to keep my tears and to show others , i was going to be recorded in the Guinness book of records . Patrick was now 3 years old and the father nowhere to be found .

Marriage what have you done to my life ? One day I cried and remembered , ” Some of you are orphans and yet you dont want to work hard .” That’s what my grade 5 teacher use to say . I wiped my tears and asked myself . Who am l ? What can I do ? Where am I going ? I looked around me , life was meaningless , I saw myself as useless .But later I looked at my Patrick and said “I have a reason to live .”

From nowhere I went back to my school to fetch my O’level certificate . I didn’t even know what was on it . The principal gave me the certificate and off I went . When I opened it ,wow I had three subjects . I went back to the principal and asked what I can do with three subjects . I had to correspond ,I had to continue in the fields ,I had to look after my Patrick , I’m supposed to have money for registration , reading , I live alone arghh . I didn’t know anything about my parents and boom a suprise that I couldn’t chew . One of my granny’s jacket that I was given after her death came across a picture of my father and mother . They both died during the war . Tears , tears , tears . I felt numb for a few seconds then I told myself not now . Wake up girl . You still looking for marriage!

I did was I was supposed to do . Further my education . I passed O’level and a Roman Catholic College nearby my area took me in for a teaching course and they put Patrick under their care but I was supposed to pay fees for the course so I had to continue working on the fields . Sometimes I slept during lessons because I didn’t have enough time to sleep . Sometimes I would spend the whole night crying instead of reading .

During this period things seems to be different now because we were always motivated , our lecturer were our role models . Years passed on , and life was now promissing good yields . But I still wanted my marriage and the big house of myself . After my Diploma , the College placed me in one of their schools.

I chose the young ones.

I took in the young ones so that I will catch them young and feed them the right information . I wanted to groom them not to hunt marriage like what I did . In the end we all want to be married but not the way I use to see .

My marriage came unexpectedly knocking at my door and at the right time . Happily married after .

Author: Cecilia Mackenzie

Marriage

“When I get married I will live happily ever in a big house.” this is what I use to tell my friends.

When I grew up I always had my wishes like anybody else. It’s normal yes to have wishes and dreams . Sometimes I would dream myself in a big house , married to a man who works in town . Time flies . When I was in highschool I could smell my dreams , little didn’t I know that dreams are not reality.

By the way ,I grew up with my granny .Grannies longtime during my days they would talk about marriage especially to us girls . So I had hope that one day I will be married. I use to see other families coming for Christmas and would say mmm that’s the kind of life that I want. Marriage .

I started dating privately . To me dating was the only thing that was important to me because I thought that was my key to fullfil my dreams . Privately ended up publicly as we all know that you can’t hide for ever . Writing my O’levels to me was meaningless , it was like writing any other papers why because I was looking for marriage.

My boyfriend was a year ahead of me . So when he wrote his O’level he then went to town to look for a job . Our families where more like the same . They didn’t know the importance of education at that time . So when you finish O’level you were supposed to go and look for a job . There my man went .

I knew nothing about life I mean I was a village girl who knows nothing about life only marriage.whatelse was I supposed to know because my granny always taught me to be a good wife plus I had to treat him like a king . The man of the match came for Easter Holidays and the happenings happened ,secretly and I became pregnant . All I could see was marriage .

Days went by , weeks ,months and the flat tummy started to grow big . I could not hide it anymore . My granny asked me and I told the truth . In my culture if you are impregnated ,you will be taken by elders to the boy’s house . So they took me there and left me there . The parents could not chase me because they knew me .

I stayed hoping for marriage and then what happened , the so called husband heard it while in town and never set his foot in the village until the child was born . He heard that I gave birth to a baby boy but he never came home . I stayed until I asked my granny to take me back because I could see that the marriage is not coming .

I went back home ,that time I could see that there is no marriage but still didn’t have anything in mind neither anyone to open my brains and tell me what’s going on . I stayed home breast feeding and started to help people in their fields to get money to raise my baby . Tears were now my food .

Oh marriage what have you done to me .

Author: Cecilia Mackenzie

Part 2 coming soon!

Children are a blessing from God

God intends us to nurture them , mould them and train (Proverbs23:6)so they become sources of joy to us and channels of praise to our King.

Today I’m going to continue with my topic which says’ Children are a blessing from God’. But this time will focus on praying for them.

Parenting is both exciting and challenging considering that no child comes with a parenting manual. Each child is unique and different.

A total dependence on God and a strong determination to pray for them always will easy the challenges you will definitely face in your role as a parent. Lots of us as parents diligently prepare for our children’s future by setting up trust funds while neglecting the most powerful investment of prayer.Prayer is a life time and internity instment.

Your children may not look like much right now, but your commitment to building their up prayerfully will yeild fruits as they grow up.When you bath saok ,cover and circle your children with prayer.By so doing you will be showing seeds that will germinate and bring forth fruits well after we no longer in this realm.

Through prayer we could mould the futures and destinies of our children.Pray for your children when they wake up in the morning everyday (Mark 10:16) before they leave home for school,when they come back and sleeping time . Make it a habit to go to their bedrooms when they sleep before you get home.Pray all kinds of prayersall the time so that those prayers will keep them going even when you can’t see them .

Prayer is our strongest weapon in defending them all times even in places where we cannot be physically present.Parents let’s pray without seizing.

Children are a blessing from God

Indeed children are a blessing from God.Then why can’t we cherish our blessings.No matter which gender they are, whether crippled or having a disfunction,let’s teach them how to be responsible,let’s teach them how to respect.Charity begins at home.Proverbs 13:24 says :Whoever spare the rod hates his son,but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.A writer once quoted”teach them young” and I got the insights that you can’t teach ana old dog new tricks.Start aligning them now in the right way.Respect is not about respecting other people only ,it is also knowing how to take care of yourself and knowing yourself worthy .They should know that no-one wants to loose something of great value.Lets teach our children to start respecting their body before anything else , let’s teach them to take care of each body part of their own.Once they know the value of their body,then it’s easy for them to respect the person next to them.By respect , responsibility is born .Taking good care of each other be it at home ,church,school,etc .Let us groom our children to be the best mothers, fathers,leaders,ministers, doctors etc.And laslty all by knowing these we both benefit #childparentbond#

Worry

Worrying doesn’t make things happen.If yu start worrying you might finsh the whole week worrying.Instead stand up ,give it a try and keep trying.Worry steals confidence ,worry steals your worth,worry can make you a failure.Just shake it off ,getup,go for it and you will see the results.Once again stop worrying!

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