“But I say to you ,love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:44-45.
As a lady who comes from a poor background , life made me be at peace with whatever challenges I come across .I came across challenges that made me think that maybe I’m an outcast. Taking it easy was not easy for me.
After finishing my O’levels I run alope to the man that I loved hoping for a change in life. Unfortunately God didn’t make us see our tomorrow we just dream and strive to fulfill our desires. I stayed with my husband and had a family and life was promising light. Like I said we don’t know our tomorrow, we got four kids and by that time I was a house wife and he was working. I was in a good relationship with my in-laws because I was not a beggar.
It all started 2009 when my husband got retrenched from work due to the economy and he didn’t get any compensation. I didn’t notice it until 2013. My in-laws started giving me a cold shoulder ,why? because I started not attending functions that used to attend,the reason being I could no longer afford it. Whenever I call , instead of “hello” they would say ,”is everything ok.” I started choosing where to go and where not to go. I started having people I like and people I dislike .All because of lacking. That’s where I only realised that my kids are my friends. Surely I bonded with them .We had to agree on one thing for it to happen otherwise we would not be where we are today.
2014 things got worse , my first born and second stopped schooling due to school fees. I was living in a few cents that I got from clients who came to do their hair and my husband was also bringing from the scrapyard ,but remember we are six .The landlord also wanted her rent. I started hating people around me ,myself ,my husband,my in-laws and I was bitter. Whenever I ask for something and you don’t give me , you are my enemy. I started not going to church because I thought they don’t love me anymore . I made enemies unaware .
Some of the days we would wwke up on empty stomachs and just say God if you can give me one client for freehand so that I can buy something to eat. A dollar from my family would make a great meal during those days . Someone might say want to know how. In the streets there were small packets of rice, meallimeal, cooking oil , vegetables etc. So we would choose whether rice or sadza.
The most painful part of me I had some close relatives whom I would ask for capital to start up something but they will say they don’t have. Have you ever reached out to a potential but turned down? Have you ever gone to a funeral and don’t come back because your money is shot? Have you ever asked for rice and then they cook for you and pack for you? Have you ever slept like a king yet you are a beggar? I would spend days without going out of the gate thinking that people would see me that I haven’t eaten anything.
Hatred and accusations was part of my life. I started not greeting people especially if I see that everything is fine with you. We use to sleep at 6 with my family because there was nothing to entertain us. Moreover it was too dark for us because we could not afford candles. My relatives would visit for a few minutes and could not even buy a candle for R2 for me. But the next thing they will do is invite you to their birthday parties!
End of 2014 ,I sat down and said “Cecilia , where exactly do you stand ? You have blessed hands one can ask for!” I opened my eyes , I looked around and I could see that I was filled with hatred, but for what Cecilia ? I had my passport already. So I sat down with my kids ,told them mama wants to go to a foreign land to change our lives, but promise me you will take care of the young one she was 1yr 6months. The kids agreed but the father said if you go, go forever. I then started to beg for busfare but who was going to give his or her money to someone who can’t afford a meal. A lady who was not even my client but she knew I know how to do hair told me to look for R300 only and she was going to take care of the rest .
My husband told me that I can do whatever I want because I was no longer his wife since the day I planned the journey.
I came to SA started working to feed my kids back home ,end of 2015 ,guess who followed? The same man who said I’m no longer his wife .Then now we are with our kids here 👪👩👩👧.