Tears became my food day in and day out . Marriage where are you?
Helping people in their fields was not a joke . I could see that granny wants to say something to me but it was too late . I think she was depressed just because she thought she failed me . As old as she was , and the only parent that I had she wanted me to get married and know that at least when she dies I do have a family .
It was on a Monday morning , I woke up feeling tired but I had to go to the fields . As usual I cooked food for both my granny and my boy . Oh by the way his name was Patrick ! I named him after my father but without the knowledge of his father’s family . Culturally we girls are not supposed to take our parents’ names to where we are married .
I worked but I wasn’t feeling myself . I could sense something bad was going to happen but what , I don’t know . My conscience kept talking to me until I took my tools and went back home without talking to anyone . On my arrival home , I could smell burning of pots . I rushed into our round hurts the pots were burning and there granny was lying , my Patrick was in deep sleep . I rushed and try to wake granny but she had already gone . Just like that .
I couldn’t believe it . I called our neighbor , she also told me that granny is gone . I cried until her burial . After her burial I had to continue in the fields and this time with Patrick by my side . If I was able to keep my tears and to show others , i was going to be recorded in the Guinness book of records . Patrick was now 3 years old and the father nowhere to be found .
Marriage what have you done to my life ? One day I cried and remembered , ” Some of you are orphans and yet you dont want to work hard .” That’s what my grade 5 teacher use to say . I wiped my tears and asked myself . Who am l ? What can I do ? Where am I going ? I looked around me , life was meaningless , I saw myself as useless .But later I looked at my Patrick and said “I have a reason to live .”
From nowhere I went back to my school to fetch my O’level certificate . I didn’t even know what was on it . The principal gave me the certificate and off I went . When I opened it ,wow I had three subjects . I went back to the principal and asked what I can do with three subjects . I had to correspond ,I had to continue in the fields ,I had to look after my Patrick , I’m supposed to have money for registration , reading , I live alone arghh . I didn’t know anything about my parents and boom a suprise that I couldn’t chew . One of my granny’s jacket that I was given after her death came across a picture of my father and mother . They both died during the war . Tears , tears , tears . I felt numb for a few seconds then I told myself not now . Wake up girl . You still looking for marriage!
I did was I was supposed to do . Further my education . I passed O’level and a Roman Catholic College nearby my area took me in for a teaching course and they put Patrick under their care but I was supposed to pay fees for the course so I had to continue working on the fields . Sometimes I slept during lessons because I didn’t have enough time to sleep . Sometimes I would spend the whole night crying instead of reading .
During this period things seems to be different now because we were always motivated , our lecturer were our role models . Years passed on , and life was now promissing good yields . But I still wanted my marriage and the big house of myself . After my Diploma , the College placed me in one of their schools.
I took in the young ones so that I will catch them young and feed them the right information . I wanted to groom them not to hunt marriage like what I did . In the end we all want to be married but not the way I use to see .
My marriage came unexpectedly knocking at my door and at the right time . Happily married after .
Author: Cecilia Mackenzie